Poly
by butterchicken
Summary: Connie really wants to meet Steven's family, but he's worried that thier love for each other will scare Connie away. Multiple pairings inside. Not as interesting as Harbour or The Discussion


Poly

_(Author's note: This is a REALLY alternate Universe. In this universe, the gems don't exist, everyone is human, Connie and Steven are now around 18-20 and living in a college dorm, Connie hasn't met the 'gems' and Rose is still ALIVE. Spoiler fusions for the season 5 finale, also I'm using the first rainbow quartz)_

"Why don't you ever invite me over to meet your family?" Connie Maheswaren asked her boyfriend, Steven Universe.

Steven gulped. He wasn't sure if he should open that can of worms... after all... would she still love him even after seeing what his family was like?

Steven nervously fiddled with his fingers.

"My family isn't what you would call... traditional..." He began.

Connie flipped over onto her stomach. The two of them were in Connie's room, Steven on her beanbag chair, her on her bed.

"Traditional?" Connie asked in surprise. "What do you mean?"

Steven sighed and looked over at her. "Connie... If you knew what I came from... I doubt you would still love me."

Connie gently smiled at Steven and slipped off her bed so she was at eye level with him.

"Steven..." She began. "Where you came from. Your family. It has no effect on how I feel about you."

Steven bit his lip. "Are you sure? My family can be a bit... much."

Connie blinked. "Much?"

Steven shrugged. "Connie... You know I love you, but if you know about my family... it may scare you."

"Steven, we've been dating for almost a year now. We're close to the point where I saw your pink navel piercing, how could I be scared away from you because of your family?"

Steven sighed. "If you insist... one second."

He got up, pulled out his cell phone and made a call. After a few minutes of speaking, followed by mhmms and yeahs, he hung up the phone.

Turning, he went back to his girlfriend. "They've invited us over for dinner tomorrow. Nearly the whole family will be there."

Connie gulped. "Whole family? But can't we start off with just your mom and dad?"

Steven shook his head. "It's not that easy..." He began. "Don't worry... I'm sure the majority of them will absolutely ADORE you."

"M... Majority?" Connie gulped.

*Spongebob narrator speaking* Tomorrow

"Don't worry, Connie." Steven began, taking her hand and smiling gently at her. "You look beautiful."

They were standing out the front of Steven's house. It was rather huge and looked like it could hold a million people.

Connie clutched the bouquet of flowers she brought as if they were her life support.

"Is this how you felt meeting my parents? What do I even adress them as?" She asked.

Steven took her hand. "Mr. and Mrs. Universe." he began, "everyone else you can call them by name."

Connie nervously nodded as Steven knocked on the door.

"Coming!" a jovial voice rang out.

After a few minutes, the door flew open and an older, bearded man stepped out. He was a little on the tubby side with long brown hair that flowed down to his rump, but Connie couldn't help notice at the same time he was balding. His ears had a few holes in them as if they had been pierced.

When the man saw Steven, he practically exploded with delight.

"Shtu-ball!" He excitedly screamed, hugging Steven. "I missed you so much! How is college?"

Steven hugged the man back. "Dad! College is going amazing! I missed you too? How is everyone?" Then he paused and turned. "Dad? This is my girlfriend Connie."

Steven's dad immediately let go of his son and went over to the nervous young lady. "Ah, Connie. Nice to meet you. Steven talks about you so much, I feel like we already met." He stuck out his hand. "My name is Greg. I hope you like barbecue."

Connie felt a little less nervous. If Greg was this friendly and personable, were the others going to be like this? She nervously held out the bouquet.

"Mr. Universe?" She began, "I hope you don't mind, but I brought this bouquet of flowers as a gift."

Greg smiled. "They're beautiful! Rose and Pearl will love them! Come on in. Dinner will be ready shortly." With that, he turned and headed in.

"Rose and Pearl?" Connie asked in surprise.

"My mom and her girlfriend." Steven explained.

"Her girlfriend?" Connie asked in surprise. "Your parent's aren't together?"

Steven shook his head. "Oh, they are." He began. "My mom is just... Poly."

"Poly?" Connie asked in surprise. "As in..."

"Steven!" A large woman ran over to Steven. She had long pink hair in ringlets and was wearing a beautiful dress. "It's so good to see you! Pearl has been worried that you weren't getting enough to eat." Then she paused and looked up. "Oh! You must be Connie!" She went over, smiling. "Hi, Connie. I'm Rose. Steven's mother. I'm so happy to meet you."

She was smiling so gently, connie immedately relaxed.

Turning, she cleared her throat. "Girls! Steven's here!"

To Connie's shock and Steven's delight, a bunch of ladies came in, all greeting him, then turning to acknowledge Connie. Some were so excited to see her, they shook Connie's hand like they were trying to rip it off. A few looked at Connie like she was beneath them.

After a bit, Rose cleared her throat. "Girls! We don't want to scare Connie away. Let's give her some space. Pearl? Sis? Want to help me make the sides for dinner?"

A very thin bellerina girl with auburn hair and a girl who looked like a punk Rose followed her into the kitchen. The others went back to what they were doing, except for one girl who stuck around.

"Sorry if we came on to strong." She began.

Connie gulped, hoping she wasn't just branded the worst girl Steven brought home.

The girl grinned through her purple-grey hair. "I'm Amethyst. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Connie forced a smile. "Nice to meet you too. Are you Steven't cousin?"

Amethyst shook her head. "No, but his mom and I are dating some of the same people... so in a weird twisted way that makes me his stepmom."

Connie's eyes widened. She turned to Steven. "Is everyone poly?"

Steven shook his head. "Dad and Aunt Sheena aren't and I'm not either..."

Amethyst was about to say something, when a taller girl with a nose ring, odd birthmarks and very fair hair poked her head in. "Yo, Runt. Lapis told me to go find you. Let's go!"

Amethyst's eyes widened. "Lapis..." She began.

Turning to Steven and Connie, she hugged both of them. "I'll talk to you both at dinner. Coming, Jasper"

She let go and followed the older girl out.

Connie, meanwhile looked freaked. "I had no idea..."

Steven sighed. "See why I was so hesitant?"

Connie nodded. "Can you help me with them?"

Steven nodded. "Come on. My room is upstairs, I can give you a crash course on everyone and how they are related."

Once they got upstairs, Connie sat down on the bed. She was very scared, but tried not to show it.

Steven nervously smiled at her. "I understand that you are scared right now. I shouldn't have thrusted you into this. But, now you're here, we can do this. I'll help you every step of the way."

He dropped multiple pictures on the bed. "First, we'll just start off by introducing you to everyone."

He held up pictures of Rose, Greg and Amethyst. "You've already met my parents and Amethyst... now let's introduce you to the others."

He held up different pictures and began. "We have Ruby, Sapphire, Garnet, Pearl, Lapis, Peridot, Jasper, Aunt Sheena, Opal, Sugilite, Sardonyx, Alexandrite, Obsidian, Smoky, Rainbow, Sunstone, Malachite. With me so far?"

Connie nodded. "Twenty people all involved in a complicated love web."

Steven nodded. "When you put it like that... Now that you know their faces, it's time to explain the web."

He got up and grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil. Writing a bunch of things on it, he handed it towards Connie.

"It's a love web." He explained. "It will help explain all this mumbo jumbo."

Connie nodded.

"So, As you can see, Dad and Aunt Sheena are only dating Mom and Pearl respectively."

"Yeah..." Connie began. "But why do you call her Aunt Sheena?"

Steven blinked in surprise. "She's my mom's little sister. It's kind of a given I would do that."

Connie blushed. "Okay, that makes sense. Now what about the others?"

Steven cleared his throat. "Well, Mom is dating Pearl, and they have been since high school. However, she's also dating Sunstone, Smoky, Rainbow and Obsidian."

"Is there going to be a quiz on this?" Connie asked.

"Yep." Steven joked. "Now, Ruby and Sapphire are easy. They're married to each other, and also dating Garnet. Garnet is also dating Pearl..."

As the list went on, Connie felt her brain start to break. Steven could see the stress Connie was going through, so he jotted down some more things on a piece of paper. It read:

_Rose: Greg, Pearl, Sunstone, Smoky, Rainbow, Obsidian_

_Ruby: Sapphire, Garnet_

_Sapphire: Ruby, Garnet_

_Garnet: Ruby, Sapphire, Pearl, Sardonyx, Sunstone, Sugilite, Alexandrite, Obsidian_

_Amethyst: Lapis, Peridot, Smoky, Sugilite, Opal, Alexandrite, Obsidian_

_Pearl: Rose, Sheena, Rainbow, Sardonyx, Garnet, Opal, Alexandrite, Obsidian_

_Peridot: Amethyst, Lapis_

_Jasper: Lapis, Malachite_

_Lapis: Amethyst, Peridot, Jasper, Malachite_

_Opal: Garnet, Amethyst_

_Sugilite: Amethyst, Garnet_

_Sardonyx: Garnet, Pearl_

_Rainbow: Pearl, Rose_

_Sunstone: Rose, Garnet_

_Obsidian: Rose, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl_

_Smoky: Amethyst, Rose_

_Alexandrite: Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl_

_Malachite: Lapis, Jasper_

Connie smiled, instantly relieved.

"Thanks, Steven." She began, leaning in.

"Dinner's ready!" Greg called out.

At dinner, Steven's paper really helped. Connie was able to identify everyone and their girlfriends and wives. She even learnt that Amethyst and Jasper were also sisters!

When the dinner was over, and it was time to go home, Steven was driving.

"I had fun." Connie began.

"I did too. I think my whole family likes you!"

Connie shook her head. "I think Jasper and Malachite hated my guts."

"I think so too, but they hate everyone. Even me. Makes me wonder why Lapis stays with them. She's so much better with just Amethyst and Peridot..."

The two of them laughed before Steven pulled the car over.

"Now that you know where I come from... Do you still want to be mine?"

Connie nodded. "I told you yesterday, Where you came from. Your family. It has no effect on how I feel about you."

Steven blushed.

Then Connie got somber. "But what about me? Will you want another girl to date as well as me?"

Steven shook his head. "You're the only girl I could ever want. I love you, Connie."

"And I love you, Steven."

The two of them gently kissed before breaking apart.

Steven started the car. "Let's go home." He began.

"Yeah. Let's." Connie replied, smiling happily at Steven.


End file.
